No make up look? Bad hair day that causes a meltdown? Dirty underwear need picking up? Or possibly bad morning breath? This is what comes along with moving in with your partner. Not forgetting endless Facebook status’ updates of how you’re “settling in with the Mr in your new home” or a selfie of you and your lover with a glass of wine chilling on the sofa. Even though these are stereotypical photos, in reality there are more things to consider when moving in together.
An important step to moving in with your partner and ensuring every step goes smoothly is sharing things equally so each of you takes on half of the responsibilities. It would be beneficial to split all the household chores from the get go. If you cannot stand doing the washing up but don’t mind hovering, then the best option would be to compromise with your partner. If some day’s work becomes a problem of sharing out the chores and cleaning, maybe have a dedicated day set to chores. If you have one day off from work a week or your partner finishes earlier then why not dedicate an hour of that day to doing the household chores.
Rent is also a big decision to decide on how you’re paying it between the both of you. Maybe you will go half on the monthly payment or a different decision has been made depending on who has a higher income? Christmas dinner. Sounds easy doesn’t it? But now you’ve got to decide whose parents you’re going to spend the day with! Alternating the years stops arguments and keeps everybody happy.
Spending every single day with someone does eventually cause unnecessary arguments because you’re with the same person day in day out. Suggesting a ‘date night’ is a romantic gesture that everybody loves. A drive out somewhere and grab some food? Maybe a takeaway and Netflix? Or maybe something which involves more of an adrenaline rush like going on quad bikes or hiring some bicycles and going for a ride. If you share common interests, then do something that suits you both. If you both like music go see a live gig, or if you both admire art then visit an art museum. Something to keep the spice in your relationship and not forget that even though you live together you can still spend quality time together out of your new home. If you are finding yourself getting on top of each other, then have dedicated days to seeing friends, family or doing something alone just so you have some downtime and can have some space enjoying your own company. Activities such as walking the dog, going to the gym, jogging, visiting the hairdressers, going shopping in the city centre – just something to enjoy your own company.
If you’re feeling stressed with the upcoming move and possibly your partner is doing too much or not enough, remember to raise your concerns in a calm manner, not argue. Set out plans. Not too formal but enough to know what ground everyone stands on. Biting your tongue during stressful moments is a good option instead of snapping and saying something you don’t mean in the heat of the moment and then having to spend the rest of the night with awkward tension. Thinking before speaking is vital. Sometimes you say things in anger and don’t always mean what you say.
“In between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.”
– Khalil Gibran.
Leave cute notes around the house for one another, be patient, do tell the truth and enjoy the upcoming years living together as a couple.